It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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