Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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