Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
