Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
