would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
