I can text with my tongue
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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