dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
