Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize