it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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