we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
