I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
