It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
