I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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