dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Randomize
