Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize