Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
