I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
