She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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