I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
