Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
