All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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