I heard we made out
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
