Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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