Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
