Nicole vs. Life
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
