I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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