hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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