You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
