i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
