I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
