i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
