I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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