Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
