Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
