Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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