I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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