I got chris browned last night
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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