So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
