OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
