"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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