3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize