three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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