everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
