he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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