Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
