Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
