I seem to have left my pride at pride
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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