Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize