just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
