ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
