What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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