Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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