you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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