I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
