Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
