Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize