How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
