There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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