We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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