Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I could make wine with my vomit
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
