Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
