Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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