You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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