ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
