honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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