i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
