babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
